Lord, please give me patience. Now!
I’m in desperate need of patience. And, I’m becoming impatient about it!
I get home after work and my “to do” list overwhelms me. It’s the same with the weekend. And, my husband, Joe, completes most of the weekly tasks for our survival – what’s my problem?!
It’s the little things that get to me. I’ve had a sinus/respiratory infection and it’s been hard to sleep. I have tendonitis in my left ankle. We’re between seasons so it’s too soon to plant flowers but too late to plant bulbs. It’s too muddy to remove the straw from our backyard but there isn’t enough moisture to plant grass seed.
I want to work on my mystery novel but I seem to find a thousand tasks that are higher on my priority list. I read a bio of an author recently and it stated that, amazingly, she “didn’t publish her first work until after the age of 40.” What’s so amazing about that?! I’m 48 and while I’ve had some business articles published (notice how I had to prequalify the next statement), I haven’t finished nor have I been able to consistently work on my novel. I almost feel guilty if I sit down to try and write because there are more immediate tasks I should complete.
The dictionary states that “patience” is the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation. An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner. To be quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; have diligence.
Hmmmm. “Patience with a slow learner” hit home. How many times has God had to be patient with me? Kind of puts things in perspective. I seem to focus on the small problems instead of consistent, long-term blessings God brings into my life. My husband and I have our health, the ability to pay our bills and spend quality time with each other. God has given me a job that is fulfilling and joyful (most of the time). And, he’s provided quality friendships and a loving family. What I used to call coincidences in my life I’ve come to recognize as personal graces such as talking by phone with a friend that I haven’t seen in 25 years and it feeling as familiar as if it were yesterday. Or, God bringing remote family members into my life just as my mother travels home to be with our Father.
There’s a new song out by Francesca Battistelli entitled “This is the stuff.” I’m embarrassed to admit that I can relate. To give you an idea, here is the first verse and chorus:
“I lost my keys in the great unknown. And call me please ‘cuz I can’t find my phone. This is the stuff that drives me crazy. This is the stuff that’s getting to me lately. In the middle of my little mess. I forget how big I’m blessed. This is the stuff that gets under my skin. But I gotta trust You know exactly what You’re doing. It might not be what I would choose. But this is the stuff You use.” Too often I gauge my joy on feelings rather than the constant, solid foundation of God’s promises. The Psalmist advises: Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way …” Psalm 62:5 “My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him.”
In both verses, we’re asked to “wait” on the Lord. I’m not good at resting or waiting and yet it seems that to God, these are important tasks. How many times have I scheduled time in my day to “rest” or “wait”? I’m too busy rushing, accomplishing, finishing or striving. I wish I could say I have it all figured out but I don’t. So, I guess I’ll go for now and rest awhile.
